15 Reasons Why Crytek Can Shove It
If it wasn’t for people like Trendy, who like to benchmark their rigs on MAXIMUM EVERYTHING, trying to get at least 30 FPS on the infamous Crysis. Crysis, the game that will put the best gaming rigs to shame. The game was beautiful, the game play was excellent, and the eyeporn was delicious. It earned it’s respect and it’s rightful place in the PC gaming world. I don’t think many would disagree with me when I say that PC gamers put Crytek on the map. But then, Crytek returns the favor by dodeslarbing PC gamers around the world. How? By making a half assed port of a console game. Seriously, they can’t even deny it. It’s just so bad and obvious. I can honestly say, I was looking forward to how amazing Crysis 2 would be on the PC. I mean, look at Crysis 1. I found out it was multiplatform when I saw gameplay footage featuring Xbox 360 buttons on screen. Oh, the 360 is getting a port? Nope. PC is getting the port of the 360 version. Fuck. That. Shit.
Instead of a patch or a proper PC version, we get secret codes released via Facebook. Gee, I wonder what that could be? It doesn’t have the right amount of characters to fit into the Steam code redeemer. It doesn’t have the right amount of numbers to fit into the Playstation Network Store Code Redeemer. What’s that? Someone who put it into the Xbox Live? It’s a map pack? DLC?! It’s usually $10?! DLC ALREADY?! AND THEY HAVEN’T FIXED THE ISSUES WITH THE PC VERSION YET?!
Why Crysis 2 Sucks
2. No SLI yet
4. Gamespy: I don’t need to argue a reason against this one.
5. The gameplay is fun, but it could benefit from more objectives, like in Enemy Territory. Camping a rotating point and deathmatch gets old fast.
6. The buttons on the main menu are like 50 pixels away from where your mouse has to be to select them. This is unacceptable even in a beta. The whole damned way the friends list is managed is completely broken.
Spend an hour trying to get a friend to add you, hoping the server doesn’t tell you that an error occurred, rendering you unable to add your friend again. Restart the game to refresh your Friends list. Continue the process until you get your friends added. Click directly in the center of the Invite Friend Button. Game selects Delete Friend instead. Friends deleted. Spend an hour trying to add your friends again.
7. The graphics are stunning, especially for DX9, but DX11 was promised. I want my fucking eyes to melt from how beautiful it is.
8. Graphic Options: Advanced, Gamer, Hardcore
Which one does what? Which is the best? Which one disables bloom but has 16x anisotropic filtering? Which one has everything but high detailed shadows? I guess I’ll just edit the config file…oh wait…
9. Locked Config files: The second reason why we buy games for PC instead of consoles.
10. Aim Assist. What the fuck. What’s the point of playing an FPS that aims for you? Then it’s just a damned interactive movie.
11. Mouse acceleration. Holy Shit. I can’t aim for shit in this game.
12. It’s a console port: that alone has me REFUSING to EVER buy. PRESS START TO BEGIN. Where is the start key? Shit, I must have an incompatible keyboard.
13. Who’s taking care of the anti cheat? It’s certainly not VAC, could it be Punk Buster? Douchebags, griefers and botters, and no one has admin privellages on their server to have them banned.
14. You shafted PC gamers. Don’t expect my money any time soon.
15. More shafting: DLC before fixing everything they fucked up.
Save your money, buy Battlefield 3.
Gamespy? Seriously? Gamespy. That’s what you’re going with…Gamespy. Hey, let’s fuck everything else up, then just for more laughs throw in Gamespy.
There hasn’t been anything cool about Gamespy since 1998. It, and RealPlayer, can go die please thank you. If you both see Flash on the way to the grave, take it with you. Fuckheads.