Dungeon Siege was a lot of fun. The goblins with the machineguns? Perfect.
Dungeon Siege II was also a lot of fun. My fiance and I used to play the coop for hours, hacking and slashing our way through the buggy DS2 universe. When we could get multiplayer on lan to work right, that is.
So now Dungeon Siege III is out. I downloaded the demo on Steam the other day. The limitation of the demo is you can’t save; so when you die, you have to start all over which isn’t a complaint.
Visually, the game looks great. I have an aging gaming rig based on the 680i platform, overclocked, with two 9800GT’s in SLI. While it’s old and a little slow, I can play most modern games without adverse effects. So based on my system, it worked great. It looked great. It played? OK well…not as much fun as DS2.
I want to like this game. I like this franchise a lot. That’s not what stuck in my craw…
It’s it’s resemblance to a console game that killed it for me. In fact, I started playing and said “what the fuck…” and sure enough when I checked the web site? Yes, another console port. It’s also available on the Xbox360 and the PS3. I rolled my eyes and thought, “Oh no, not another Dragon Age 2 because that was a fucking rag.” And here we are.
I’m not a console gamer, so when I see games are available for console, my outlook is shot before I even play them. It’s going to be coded to run on the lowest common denominator. It’s going to have less options for control customization. It’s going to have flashy anime-looking artwork. I’m sure there’s other things I’m not thinking of at the moment — but aren’t those things enough?
I’m not alone when I say; I’m sick of console ports creating a bad PC gaming experience. The market is what it is, and the market drives development and there’s nothing we can do about that. I’m already missing the days when games were written for the PC’s first, then they were ported to the consoles. The way things are moving right now, the PC-only game market is going to dwindle to a niche. It will be a bunch of diehards who refuse to give in to the console craze. I’ll see you there.
You have the option to play two characters: Cuntbag and Dickface. I don’t remember their names. See? I don’t remember their names. Hey, Square Enix? I don’t remember their names. That’s a hint. What I mean to say is that your characters aren’t memorable. Anyway, one is male and the other is female. Cuntbag glows and looks all magical and shit. I picked Dickface, he had armor, a sword and shield, but he looked like an anime reenactor exploded in Hot Topic and then tried to look upwards. Dickface did OK, until he was overwhelmed and my lack of understanding of special moves and gameplay got me killed. I didn’t feel like starting all over, so I uninstalled the demo. That was really anticlimactic, wasn’t it? Hey — those other sites write reviews. This is how it really went.
I really want to like this game, because I liked the previous two so much. If I spend the money, it’ll be because of that wishful thinking. It’s just setting myself up for another console port piece of junk that I’ll blow 8 hours of my life on and uninstall.
Thanks for ruining another one, douchebags.